WanderBellies

1. My first gift from D was a book titled “A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy” by William B. Irvine, in the first week after we got together. He knew that I am a fan of books, but what he did not know then was that I knew little to nothing about the topic of philosophy. This book starts off with a general history about philosophy, which would have been great for a beginner who wanted an overview of how philosophy as a topic has evolved, but I found it dry. Naturally, this book became the longest resident in my handbag, which I carried religiously to and fro work. Thankfully, once I got past that, the book became a more enjoyable read. It held clear propositions and practical tips towards the practice of Stoicism in our daily lives. I would share snippets of what I had read with D and we would occasionally discuss about our views on them. Side note: Not all our conversations are often that serious, we still enjoy goofing around, laughing A LOT and talk about a bunch of silly things. I am really glad that D had shared this book with me, because one of our recent personal project is to try and share an extract relating to mindfulness with each other, once or twice a week.

2. My best friend G often praises D for training up my alcohol limits (well of course in a jokingly manner). One thing that I am really glad for over the last year, is that despite being on a long distance relationship for an extended period of time, we still do things like a regular couple. We have lunch (for me) / dinner (for him) dates (accounting for the timezone difference), “movie” dates (where we try to catch the same movie in the week) and beer / wine nights. That said, I am sure we both wish to eliminate the distance and be in the same location.

3. Despite a short amount of physical time spent together, I have fond memories of the variety of activities we have done together. From jumping around like monkeys in a trampoline park to ice-skating and not forgetting, Wavehouse. At the top of my head however, is a kite-flying & picnic date that we went on as part of our Christmas celebration last year. While I was initially hesitant as to whether this date would go well, D assured that kite-flying was not difficult (he is pretty good at it) and that we would have fun. After picking up our picnic food, we bought our kites and settled down at Marina Barrage. With our self-made Pimms cocktails, an Italian fare and a colourful selection of fruits, I really cannot think of a better complement. D was a natural at bringing the kite up afloat in the sky and when it was stable in the air, he passed it over to me. Whenever the kite was in "danger", he shared tips on how to stabilise it, though on occasions, he had to step in. We laughed so much and hard in the process. D is a person with great patience, extremely calm and cool-headed. These are just a couple of traits about him that I am extremely fond of and am in admiration with. It was one date that we had a lot of fun, basked in the open space - credits to the great weather - and just felt that the world comprised of the two of us.

A surprise Satur-date.

2. L and I are always in communication whether it is chatting on the phone, FaceTiming, or bespoke “date nights” to bridge the current distance between Poland and Singapore. I appreciate that she continues to constantly encourage me, eggs me on to try new things, forcing me outside of my comfortable “box”. I can feel the effort that she puts into us and the general positive impact this has had on my daily life – being more physically active and picking up new skills; it also creates a medium for us to share our experiences, philosophies and generally grow together.

3. L is a person who thrives on new experiences – oh the great unknowns, which explains the current overdose of travelling :p. This was something I’ve tried to incorporate into our dates, particularly in Singapore where things can feel relatively routine. As much as our time together in Singapore has been limited, considering that L left for Europe at the end of February, I vividly recall the excitement she had when I revealed my plans for a surprise day for her – excitement, which when I think back, always puts a smile on my face. Funny enough, I am generally not very good at keeping surprises from my closest friends and family; coupled with L’s constant probing resulted in the evening’s highlight of a musical being given away too easily, although I don’t believe L guessed the title of the musical correctly till much later! We undoubtedly had a great day, from bumping into friends to settling on impromptu dinner plans (we missed our reservation at Tanjong Beach Club), and something I will always look back on with great fondness particularly given that this day was part of the lead-up to L’s departure to Europe - there is a whole blog post dedicated to this day, go check it out! 


Looking back on our short 12 months of being officially together, we have definitely come quite far together as a couple. No relationship is ever easy - its ups and downs, fights and disagreements. As you get to see more intimate details of your partner, "flaws" will start to show more clearly, but such is the beauty of a relationship where the giving should be unconditional and takes a common understanding and effort from both parties to make things work. It encompasses seeing the flaws and negatives in the person, coming together to resolve them, yet defying that impulse to seek greener pastures elsewhere.

The long distance which has separated us for the past 4.5 months has certainly created added pressure, yet has required us to focus on communicating with each other - not something new, as we had communicated relatively extensively with each other before we even got together! We are glad that we have come out of these 12 months stronger and with a deeper understanding of each other's needs and ways of communication.

Cheers to the last 12 months and to many more ahead!

Love,