WanderBellies

One of the things that I am glad about living alone abroad for a year is the amount of books I get to plough through. To say that "I am an avid reader" is probably still an over-statement. Books are a big part of my life, but I am still an extremely active person who love the outdoors.

My choice of book follows a simple algorithm:
1. It depends on my mood (it could go from anything fiction to self-help to non-fiction (finance, and more recently, history, philosophy etc) - I would start searching for a book in that particular genre focusing either on The Classics or Current Bestsellers; Or,
2. I would simply pick something from a personal recommendation by friends.

Having recently completed an autobiography on Elon Musk which was very motivational, I am now on a birthday gift I had received from my ex-boss titled "Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges" by Amy Cuddy. If you find her name familiar, yes, she is the speaker behind TED's popular video (12 million views till date) on body language. Her book on Presence is a self-help book and as with all self-help books that I go through, I like finding someone to share what I have read and my personal reflections.

Before moving onto my latest read, Amy Cuddy's book on Presence, I was pretty hooked onto the autobiography about Elon Musk. I woke up early on a weekday to finish one more chapter, before preparing for work.

Given how this space is something that we have been growing, I thought it would be nice to share some reflections here. It would also be interesting to go back to this post after I am done with this book.

Presence (which I will use interchangeably with "Being Present"), to me, is about "being there" both physically and mentally. It involves how and who a person is, in the present tense. Or even, it is as simple as having a conversation from the heart. What I mean here is, you can tell if someone is engaged in an active conversation with you and actually want to be in it. Someone who looks to you in the eye when you speak and listens, not just hear the words. And to some extent, be able to keep up with that conversation. On the other hand, being in the current situation requires focus. Often, the mind tends to wander to a future state, as many may call this distraction. You may be thinking about what your plans are for the evening, what you need to get done before the next meeting etc etc. Hence, it takes effort and willpower to be present. And perhaps a touch of flair.

Beyond the above controllable state, being present is also subject to the uncontrollable perceptions from others. What others see of you, is hopefully, a mirror of who you are. To make your presence felt is a common saying, but what does it truly entail? The personality traits that pop up in my mind are "confidence", "extroversion" and "charisma". It involves being personable, having a warm personality and knowing what to say at the right time. All these in a natural state.

One thing for sure, "presence" is a word tagged with a positive connotation. It could extend opportunities, land you your next job or even something as simple as making people feel comfortable and drawn in.

What does Presence mean to you? Is it the removal of judgement to create true and deep connections with people and experiences? Or is it being yourself and keeping confident, regardless of what happens? Or is it loving people around you and enjoying what you do for them?

On my recent birthday trip to Gdansk & Poland's famed tri-cities, I had managed to find a cozy cafe, Drukarnia, which serves great coffee, and just sit by its balcony reading & people watching.

xx,
L